On Jehu's Altar Bloody

 


photo from Pexels by artist Raka Mifta


a poem by Joshua Brown


As I wept alone

Beneath the sky,

I saw a beauty

Whose eyes cried

Together, us.


I was not heard

For I had no ear.

She saw me and

Allowed not it:

The aloneness.


And the human,

The soul beneath

That attractive

Fleshy vessel,

Cried to cry


The nihilism:

My meaningless

Deadened soul

Betrayed, hurt

Self-scripted.


And we looked

Into our eyes,

Puffy and red,

Holding hands

Tears flowing.


We betrayed

Our own selves

To the death.

Dancing life

To the brink.


Would survive

This dangerous

Ghoulish play?

Pray tell me,

How God saw?


Alarm, alarm!

Knives, guns,

Strangling I…

Sexual prey of

Old generation.


Help! Help! Hel...

In... on... beyond...

They... she... he...

Pu... tun... gre..

Huiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii



#poem #poetry #suicide #innerfamily #dietoself #selfknowledge #emotions #dialectic #childabuse 

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Thanks for reading this poem, "On Jehu's Altar Bloody" which I wrote a few days ago here in the greater Denver area. If you liked it, I would really appreciate your feedback here in the comments or on Facebook or Telegram

My last poem was "Surrounded by Saints" in which I explore the ideas of both our physical environment as well as our simulated environment, based on choices people before us made.

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Thoughts on this poem:

I remember feeling severe danger from one of my relationships holding a knife to my throat as a clear joke. In reality, there was no danger, but I felt alone and unable to articulate what I really felt about both the person and their actions. I felt both in danger and in love, and though the knife was sheathed and posed no threat I did think it was out of character for this person who shared so much with me.

Another inspiration for this poem is the stories I've heard throughout my life of couples committing simultaneous suicide. I find the idea of co-dependency to be both personal and yet so incredibly alien. 

A third inspiration is a private poem I wrote at the early stages of the Russio-Ukraine "special operation" in which I explored my own fear of dying in an oligarchs' petty conflict. 

Many of my poems explore concepts of choking and drowning, which is part of the ending of the poem.

But in reality, it's a poem. There is no direct meaning, just an expression and an art, maybe you got something completely different out of it!

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PO Box 172441
Denver, CO 80217

Thanks!!!

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