Left Behind

This poem is a reflection on loss and how we protect our hearts as children.
 

photo from Pexels by artist Lisa Fotios

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   Joshua Brown



Someone brought me a candy bar

And I said "my gratitude is immense"

But really, I wasn't happy but sad

Because we were at a funeral


There were flowers up on the stage

Thousands of flowers for the man

Whose body was lying in a casket

Ready to be buried til resurrection


People were gathered to mourn

Because he really meant a lot to us

And he had actually cared so much

About our feelings and thoughts


We had been touched emotionally

Not in his death but in his life

Where he wondered in curiosity

At the dreams, oh the dreams!


Maybe it was silly, unconscious us,

To the people who couldn't live

But walked around as zombies

But to him it was the whole thing!


There were no politics here 

And I laughed and cried to think

Of the petty people left behind

By him in his life, to connect with us


God had received back an angel

That man whose ears burned red

At the anger against our enemies

And at the pain we experienced.


And we had done the same for him

The brave struggle, not for power

But for love of all that was holy,

Combined us together in morality


I nibbled on the candy bar giv'n

Waves of grief disrupting my bite

And tears streamed down my face

Pained at that loss of a dear friend


Goodbye little man with a bicycle

Goodbye and don't forget us

There in your streets of gold

There in the presence of God


Goodbye little man with glasses

Goodbye and don't forget about

The gigantic moon back here

And the silly frozen "smoke" we blew


Goodbye little man so horny

Goodbye and don't forget her

The cute girl in the tight shorts

That taught us to ride Arabians.


Goodbye little man forgotten

Goodbye because I forgot you

And I'll always regret that


#poem #poetry #death #loss #grief #abandonment #isolation #coping #survival

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📅 Written November 16, 2023

📍 Written in Aurora, Colorado at Joshua's home along Sand Creek

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I lost a dear friend, ripped from me at the moment I needed confederation most. But I survived, and in that survival I inadvertently prepped myself to live a life without him, and even though he didn't care about me, sometimes I remember that friendship we formed, that bond we forged early in our lives and how devastating that it may have been for him to be removed from my life, because it was devastating on my life.

And he didn't make it, and I did.

Not my fault, but man does it make me want to fight back against those that stole that childhood kinship away from me. Fuck them and their choice to rip him away until he never came back. And coping would be to say, I'll see you on the other side buddy. But fuck that, I'm going to connect with people, I'm going to care and connect and fucking make it up to you buddy. I'm going to be so fucking happy and walk away from those who crushed our friendship to gain resources and power.

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