A Letter to My Child


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an original poem by Joshua Brown

Hello child of mine:

Deep creative design

Of choice

By me

And her.

And those who danced the whorl.

Hello, and be seen:

There are two that made you

Man and wife.

Brought together by mutual religious fanfare,

Consummated within a grungy rebellion.

Against The God.

Who both prevented and allowed.

You were no child, but a Gift.

An all-seeing eye of pyramid.

And all at once, I saw

The dangerous Game:

I risked your health

By verity choice of will

To pretend Love.

That pretended Love by which I brought you In.

Into the world.

A untested Lie.

By woman who dared not look deep.

For reasons I may never know.

Nor will you,

Almost certainly.

For violence betrayed itself as it was wont. 

And though I flirted with that Demon,

The Ghost of Jezebel, Mrs. Excuses,

Whose husband ignorantly mispercieved

Our unholy relationship by his Choice,

At the last moment, I fled.

Running away to sheer Free Will

Though painful it might be

Against You.

For Grandmother

Nor Grandfather

Nor Pastor

Nor Church

Nor Judge

Nor Mother


Nor should have I cast you into a deep pit


To suffer deep programming against truth,

But Choice I made, long ago, to lie with Her

Who begat you.

And though my conniving thoughts

Considered rescue

This I found not,

For Pause gave I

To your homegrown terrorism

And reflected long,

Too long.

For, in me, I saw danger

Too dangerous to decide

Amongst the Violent parishioners

At the local Baptist congregation.

Here I stand:

For One against Many

Is scary and Those who know

My weaknesses and buttons

Maneuver against me

If Alone I move

To Rescue You.

So pleased I would be to see communion

And forgiveness!

But deluded I choose not to be

For those who Act


Excuse the Past

And the Present

Actors replaying

The hurt

Upon them

Though best they know

What pain is caused

On Child

And Grandchild

And Great-grandchild.

And my Choice

Is to build from nothing

(A void created by me)

In great fear of loss,

And protect I will my sobriety.

For Remembrance of:

Your birth among the tribal symbols;

Your purchase by American markets;

Your first breath in Alaskan firmament;

Your heavenly travels to coastal California;

Your pain of punishment at my hands;

Your loneliness among the Family;

Your happy treks among the starry night;

Your playground romps and zip line swings;

Your loss of Alien and Stella;

Your late nights killing skeletons;

Your silent consumption of events;

Your art in memory of connection with me;


Dear child of mine,

I am Joshua.

#poem #poetry #personal #historical #journaling #reflection #family #parenting #whathappened



Thanks for reading "A Letter to My Child" which was written in Aurora, Colorado, United States, North America on April 16, 2023. You can also check out my last poem "On Purpose." Lately I've been really contemplating free will and its relationship to my personal life. Maybe it will be inspiring or interesting to you as well.

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