No Way Home

 a poem by Joshua Brown
TW - suicide

Swinging through the empty vases
Grasping onto stings of glass
Never pause to glance at faces
Dead to them as quick I pass

Tempt me not with lowly life
My bullet marked with just my name
Above the clamour of the strife
Hanging in the grasp of fame.

I meet with those who've gone before
And see myself in shallow pools
So grim to think of heroes lore
Of me, the one who followed rules

I could have walked away from voices
Or webbed their faces not to talk
But in this universe are choices
The road, the turn, I look, I walk

In flames of torment just surrender
Gritting teeth I scream and shout
The demon whispers Fiat Tender:
A payment for the life of doubt.

A spider crawls within my temple
The holy high priest devils glare
I say goodbye to those the simple
My reprehenisblish stare.

Why did you allow my murder
You brutish fools allowed my death
But now forget of me in order
Child, teen, gasp for breath.

Alone in quiet chokehold shudder
Aghast at my unrequited love
Or am I just a half breed brother
With enemies under and above

Fuck suicide.
I'll kill myself.

Though those within shout Alleluia
To gods with nary sign of good
I am dead to them, so screw you
Your fucking idols made of wood.

To you I'm just a paper men
A victim, useless paradigm
But violent I will be again
And save the child deep sublime.

By killing off the deadly agent
Who craftly kept me then alive
You fucking did your job as sent
A pool so deep I dared not dive.

They were not friends who watched me quiver
And put a loaded gun up to my head
Or shoved a knife with hands that shiver
And imagined if my life was dead.

Their selfish thoughts of glory vain
In universe so far away and numb
It mattered not that I here lay
My bloody lifeless maternal cum.

She could not save herself from virtue
Coughing blood she proved again
From deaths open door her violent lurch
To choke me with an inky pen.

I stayed too long to say goodbye
And lost my soul to live amid
Amid the kids who love and try
To veritably be a simple kid.

Fuck suicide.

#poem #poetry #mcu #interpretation #dream