Lying to Women

 a poem by Joshua Brown

I want to be happy and joyful and fun

With beautiful children who dance in the sun

A wife and a home that is grateful and warm

But darkness inside me keeps sounding alarm.


Terrible monsters and feelings of hate

Flash bangs and spiders and dark naked fate

Violence and anger, betrayal by self

Tripping and falling and shadows of stealth


I wish there was angels and kind loyal souls

I still think I'm both but I'm wrestling ghouls

Like old Daniel's prayer for the warrior engaged

A wild slayer of technoscripts humanly brave


Fuck the pretentious indiginant men

Who disrespect women by lying to them

Obscuring their truth just to pretend keep the peace

A boring existence only colored by disease.


The church left me stained by empty remorse

I lived True Believer. I held the True Course.

I fit into boxes that other men formed.

But fuck all your boxes, bring on the storm.


I'd rather see smiles on my two daughters faces

Then kill off myself to protect your dumb stasis.

Your impotent, insolent, abject, dread life

In twenty years I'll have nothing left but dark strife.


Freedom I want from deep propaganda

You chose sophistry. I chose to stand up.

The beauty I have is both true and deep

The best that you have is a church that’s asleep.



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